the-fandoms-are-cool:

conversewearingdetective:

tugamaggie:

bluefootednewt:

YES.

pissed off Scotts are exempt from most of the laws of Physics

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(via tccallahan)

equisollux:

zombiecthulu:

basedkuroko:

my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE

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the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone

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I bet he’s on Tumblr

I am

(via whimsicalsalamander)

eriadn:

we have a sub in us history and he said “i have to take attendance, if i mispronounce your name it’s because i dont care”

(via crrocs)

hootaloo:

bowrll:

mortisreptus:

fireskink:

alltailnolegs:

mcsprankles:

idcsam:

shadow-pop:

whatisagorman:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency

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YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD

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911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN

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YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS

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911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER

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MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.

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YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ

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TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

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911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.

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yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

(via kissagallagher)

jaclcfrost:

jaclcfrost:

one of my main nicknames courtesy of my family is “emmy” and my uncle was like “what if you marry a guy named anthony whose nickname is tony then you’d be emmy and tony” 

and then “what if his last name was award”

and then my cousin put in “if you have a son you could name him oscar”

emmy, tony, and oscar award

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oh my god

(via pizzeta)

choicespectacles:

awesomephilia:

Best drinking game ever.

Naturally, from my home town.

So proud :’)

(via thestrayline)

althor42:

misha-in-the-tardis-at221b:

in-demigodishness-and-all-that:

constitutionclass:

england-made-a-spooky-blog-and:

nega-che-chalaga:

salt-water-chardonnay:

latinagabi:

thenoodledude:

emergencysalsa:

Tumblr: #this fucking donut #can we talk about this fucking donut for a minute #can we #because on this donut #the sprinkles just comfortably melt into the icing #you can tell that they are so perfectly in tune with each other #and they’ve come so far from when the sprinkles just sort of sat on top #barely touching for fear of rejection #just ugh I can’t #otp: comfortably melting

4chan: here’s a picture of someone putting their dick in a donut.

reddit: that donut needs to go back into the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

academia.edu: Here is a pdf of the seminar paper I wrote about the erotics/poetics/semiotics/science of donut eating.

deviantArt:I did not steal this donut. I traced it so now it’s mine.

It got better

Fanfic.net: The donut is the setting for a high school AU, were two sprinkles meet and realise they have more in common than they ever thought possible, however, the mean chocolate sauce has caught wind of their secret relationship. Will they be able to make it together before it’s too late? M for a lemon flavoured donut.

This has officially become one of my favorite posts.

I JUST REBLOGGED BUT FANFIC MADE IT PERFECT

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: The Internet.

(via ozyreads-deactivated20130608)

demigodofhoolemere:

i feel like salem the cat is tumblr’s spirit animal

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do you guys see what i’m getting at

(via fab-feminist)

pavlovs-schrodinger:

pavlovs-schrodinger:

when im older and my kid needs me to sign something for school im just gonna write “Dad” in really crappy handwriting so it seems like my kid forged my signature and the teacher calls to tell me and im just “yes no it is i dad”

i posted this when i accidentally took too much medication

screw you guys

(via fghjkl-oee-deactivated20130605)

When I try to make new friends.

laugh-addict:

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i think the greatest part about this is that it doesn’t matter which chameleon you were referring to they’re both equally accurate

(via doc-8)